A Tale Of Two Brains...Enjoy :)

Understanding your mate a little better :) and have fun doing it

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope your day is just the way you like it!

If not, practice Humility with me :)

See you guys on Tuesday!

A Little Grace

Hey gang!  This past week was a doozy!  I ended up with an upper respiratory infection and a stomach bug...I was wiped out and didn't make it out of bed.

Thank goodness for my husband who was off a couple of days and took care of everything (as best as he could....lol) Ok, I have to share a little about it.  Tuesday was the last morning I was up, by that evening I was out.  So the hubby picked up the kids, fixed dinner, put them to bed, woke them up for school on Wednesday and Thursday...the funny part (and sad part) my daughter, I braided her hair in a low braid and when I emerged Thursday evening, (head in my head shaking back and forth) her hair was still in the braid (as much hair that can be still in a braid), she hadn't brushed her hair for 3 days...men, ha!

Yes, I immediately took care of my family, cleaned them up, fed them healthy and went back to bed.

Funny!  yes, a little sad, but funny.  Just goes to show that I need to disappear more so he can figure a few things out.

This coming week is Crisis Week and we all know I take care of myself by allowing a pause in a few other areas of my life to be available to serve those in need.

I'll see you guys later.

So now...the easy peezy stuff!

You've answered some simple yet difficult questions.

By now, you should know who you are, what you want and what it looks like.  You now have your Why in life!!!  Yippie!  Confetti! Balloons!!  Partay!!

Most people walk around not able to answer these questions.  P.S. If you are reading this for the first time, go back in the blog and start with The Good Life.

So now all we have to do is focus on one area at a time, Personal, Professional, and Spiritual.

For now, Personal...

What goals do you want to have in the next 3-5 years that will support your Why??  That means what goals do you want to tackle that when put up against "Will this bring me closer to my why or not? question.

Make a list of at least 5...of course you can do more, for now we will keep it simple for conversation sake.

Here is what mine looks like;

I am Courageous.  I want Peace and that looks like pretty white fluffy clouds floating calmly in the brilliant blue sky.  I see a finished house with a beautiful yard, happy family all with smiles playing safely together.  Some of my personal goals:

Finish projects started around the house

Decorate the house

Get healthy, fit and strong

Create and implement healthy menu plans

Live Debt Free

You get the picture.  For now, create your goals, next we will focus on the smaller bite sized steps to get you there.

Happy Sunday!

Thursday...

We are geared up for Pinewood Derby!  See you on Sunday!

What's Around

You are doing great!  You've answered some tough questions!!  Who do you want to be and What do you want to live with.  

We are going somewhere with this!!

Now, another simple question now that you know who you are and what you want, what do you see around you?

Are you on the beach?

In the mountains?

In the jungle?

At home?

What do you see in your place?

These 3 simple questions give you a clear vision of what you want your life to look like and who you are.

After we have this foundation, we can start the super easy part of planning your life :)

Happy Tuesday

Back On Track

                                             

Its Sunday and we are getting back on track!!

Before we get to it, I've been asked what Crisis week was all about.  I volunteer for a Woman's Rape Crisis Center, after going through a certification course put on by the center, I can pick times that work for my family and volunteer my services.  The office is open 9a-5p, after hours is when I'm on shift, meaning if I get a call anywhere between 5p and 9a then I answer.  When someone calls, they are in a state of Crisis which basically means, they can't see beyond where they are and its my job to calm them, and help them create a plan.

Yes, it is tough to hear other peoples pain, remain neutral and be their guide however, the rewards I get back far exceed any discomfort of giving of my time.

You know what its like to give unconditionally right??  If your answer is yes, you know.  If your answer is no, I urge you to find a way to give..no matter the size, it can be a meal to a family in need, it can be a phone call to a friend you haven't spoken to in a while, it can be working in a soup kitchen or something no one would ever see like picking up the trash in your neighborhood.  The point is to find a way to give!

                                              
Going back to the good life :)

I WANT TO BE COURAGEOUS!

We answered the simple tiny question of Who we want to be, now what...

Now, what do you want to live with?
Do you want to live with passion?
Purpose?
Peace?
Harmony?

I'll give you a hint, I want to live with PEACE!  Now when I make decisions for myself and my family, every single one of them comes up to the question of Does this or Will this give me peace?  Sounds great right.  Sure it does.

Your turn, What do you want to live with?

Happy Sunday

Its Crisis Week

Just a quick update!

I am answering the Crisis Hotline at night this week.

I will be back next week!

Got to take care of myself this week :)

Do you make yourself a priority??

AWW Shucks!

So I missed Thursday...poo!

Not to leaving you hanging, here is something that made me smile this morning.

                            

Who Wants The Good Life????

                                             
Do you have "The Good Life??"

If your answer is Heck Yea!!  We all want some of what your drinking :)

If your answer is like most and its sounds more like ehhh, sure....then we can work on that!

Its been said many times, many ways, "'If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!"

I couldn't agree more.  Sunday, I brought up the "Life Plan" and while for some this is a task your ready for, others it may seem like a daunting task that WHAT you want me to do WHAAAAAAA???

Its really simple actually and we will break it down in tiny chunks until wala...the angels will come out and sing and you will have direction, passion, purpose and yes, a Life Plan.

STEP #1
Answer this one tiny, simple question...

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?

For the purpose of the ever elusive "consistency" we are going to say for conversation sake, 5 years from NOW.

2018

The year is 2018, Who do you want to be?

Do you want to be a billionaire?

a Servant?

Healthy?

Happy?

the best Parent? 

So for now, all you should focus on is this one tiny, simple question.  Who Do You Want To Be?

When you get to April 2018 and look back on this deciding moment in your life Who Are You Going To BE???

Let us know!

Stay

Where are you?

Where do you want to go?

Let's start a LIFE PLAN!

Proper Apology...try it, you'll like it!

So not too long ago, I was taught the proper way to make an apology.  What I realized is most people and when I say most, I'd say at least 75% don't know the proper way to make an apology.

Have you heard this..."I'm sorry?"  or "I won't do that again."

Let me ask you this, when you make an apology, who is the apology about??  You?  the other person?  or both?

Fact:  When you say "I'm sorry."  its 100% about YOU!!  How does simply stating "I'm sorry" really help the other person??  

Fact:  When you say "I won't do that again." its 98% about YOU!!  You have hurt someone here and need to make an apology so what, you expect that by simply stating "I won't do it again" will somehow repair all.  NOT!!

Fact:  When you ask "How can I can I make it up to you?"  you are actually involving the other party in the matter in how they see you can build trust or repair the damage.

Let's try this on for size...

I apologize for __________  (nothing good ever comes from "being" sorry).  In this kind of apology, you actually acknowledge what it is you did wrong.

Now try saying, "What can I do to make it up to you?"  and be willing to do whatever is said.  I mean, when the other person says, "kiss my feet!"  You better be willing to get down and kiss some feet!!

Here is the point:

Somewhere, somehow we have gotten on this bandwagon that says, oh, just say your sorry and that will take care of everything NOT!! it only takes care of you!!  How SELFISH!!

Care about the people you care about and make a formal apology EACH and EVERY single time you need to make amends!

Who do you need to make an apology to?  Even if you've already said "sorry?"

I'm Short Today :)

This is so true!

What is one thing in your life that if you had an ounce of discipline you could conquer??

For me its CONSISTENCY  big shocker I know.

This is why I got determined and made a commitment, post 3 times a week...and just for my peeps who notice everything, no I won't post on Holidays :)

This is a short post.  Hope you enjoy thinking about where you can apply a dash of discipline, an ounce of drive and a shot of determination.

Share :)

Gifts!

                                                 
I read a quote today, "Part of your mission in life then must be to share your gifts with as many people as possible.  That means being wiling to play BIG."

It got me to thinking...(my husband would say "surprise surprise...ha")

Do you know what your strengths are??  Have you ever sat down and wrote out or really put any thought into what your "Gifts" are??

Here are a few of mine:
Adaptability
Ideation
Empathy
Entertainer
Relater
Growth
Contribution
Listener
                                           
I have had the honor of having others write out what they see in me, here are a few of them:
Sweet
Helpful
Inspiring
Positive
Leader
Ballsy
Brave
Free Spirited


I am in fact a Dreamer and it is my dream to really share myself with others, really with as many people as possible.  So when I seen the quote followed with "That means being willing to play BIG"  I  had to ask the question, am I willing??  YES!!  I am!

How about you?  I encourage you to sit down in a quiet space and think for a few minutes on what your strengths are.  If you need any help seeing your strengths, reach out to those around you and ask them, "What do you think my strengths are?" I bet you'll get some good answers.

This is a powerful tool for you, I use it when I need a pick me up, or need to increase my confidence.

Now you know what your strengths are, go Be You, share your  STRENGTHS!!  share your GIFTS!
                                              

Facing Opposition

                             

How do you know when you are doing the right thing??

How do you know its good for you?
For others?
For the greater good?

Here is how I know, its OPPOSITION!!

Now I'm not to open when it comes to what I am about to say, so please if you need to, put on your own filters and offer me up some grace
                                        
For me and my husband, we have a significant issue we can't even talk about because we each have a completely different belief system, view, whatever you want to call it.  Its about God, its about how we each choose to worship, build a relationship, again whatever you want to call it...start using your filters.

Now I'm not a he said/she said kind of gal, so here is just my brief version.

I am attending a church that I found after visiting several others, meeting with priests, bishops, pastors asking any and all questions I have about God and The Bible and well about life in general.  I set out on a personal journey feeling like I was being led to where I choose to be now.  Immediately after making my decision about where I would attend church, chaos ensued.  Every Sunday is a strong battle and after some time, we both settled down a bit and only occasionally does this subject come up for us.  We simply can't have a conversation.  We haven't figured out that while we are each very different, have different backgrounds, have different beliefs, have different ways for which we choose to have a relationship with God, we can still have a conversation of simple understanding.  We are at this point so passionate about our individual position, we just want to be understood and are forgetting the understanding part.  Typical husband/wife relationship right?

Anyways, the point is that while this is difficult to endure, this happens to be a great OPPOSITION and if I let it would stand in the way of my relationship with God.  So it has to be right, I have to be on the right path, otherwise who in the world would care, the answer....NO ONE!!!  If there were no opposing force trying to derail you, trying to divert your attention, trying to sway your beliefs, then something is terribly wrong.

I was reminded of this yesterday in talking with a friend.  Sometimes this opposing force wins because its too hard, or we loose sight of what we are fighting for, even if its just to participate.

Its when you have to take a stand, its when you feel the push in the other direction that you know you are doing whats right.  I know what I choose to believe is true.  It has brought me peace and understanding to a great big ol subject that has many, many directions.

What challenges are you faced with right now?  How can they be made better just by understanding?

Curve Ahead ~

So here I was on a beautiful day, making a commitment to blog consistently, building my weakness and determined to stick to it and wouldn't you know it

CURVE AHEAD!!!

We all woke up this morning ready for church, eager to see our friends and BAM!!!  Life threw us a curve.  

How many times does this happen?

So my daughter woke up and complained about her vision and the lack thereof, pain and just not happy at all.  Our plans changed and we had to find an optometrist on a Sunday and FAST!!  We have never had to see an optometrist so I didn't think of the easy mall or wal-mart option and I proceeded to call everyone on the list as far out as 25 miles.  Then it doned on me to reach out.

How many times are we in need and we DON'T reach out?

I mean it took me 3 1/2 hours before I thought of seeking help...didn't we just talk about how this requires a skill set before...anyways, within 2 min of reaching out via Facebook of course, I received assistance and support and love and prayers in all shapes and forms.

My daughter is OK apparently, she has been adapting to her changing eyesight and caused a great deal of strain and stress.  She has her eyesight and is getting glasses (which she is excited about).

While we didn't make it to church, I was reminded that God is all around us, and I received his love, guidance and comfort through all my friends and family.  He knew what we were going to be up to today.

We got to see our friends, we had a great day and man oh man there is lots of buzz going on about what we will pick out to wear and how will it match all our clothes and how pretty these new glasses will be and how exciting it will be.................

Life will always and I really do mean ALWAYS give us something we aren't expecting.  It is up to each individual to give it meaning and decide "What are you going to do about it?"

Happy Sunday!

                                                  

Ok, Ok, Ok!!!

                                         


I realize the importance of being consistent.  So starting fresh, with a fresh week on
Sunday, I commit that I will post something of value...well, OK at least something three times a week on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I look forward to seeing you more than just every now and again :)

Life's Trials

This one has been swimming around in my ol brain for a while now.

We all have hard things we face in life right?  The answer is most definitely YES!!!  Here is how I like to think about it:

Imagine you are on the highway, its busy, not congested and you are traveling around 60MPH in the middle lane.  You could be driving a Geo Metro, Toyota Corolla, Ford F-150, MAC truck or even a gigantic RV.  Maybe you are carrying your family, goods for thousands or several families with you on this highway in your vehicle.  Everyone is having a great time, all is well and BAM! Flat Tire!!  Perhaps you have one single flat tire, or you have two, or maybe you have five that have all gone flat.  In life, we all face trials, we loose all our finances, we get fired, we break an arm, we get sick, someone in our family gets sick, or worse, we loose a loved one and never feel their physical presence again.  Trials are trials now matter how small or big they may be, one thing I can guarantee is while you are in your own personal trial or having a flat tire, its the worst possible thing you can imagine.  I mean there you were having a great time, and BAM! Flat Tire...
                                          
So what do you do??

First things first, getting out of danger.  You first have to respond in a way that will put you in a position to truly soak in the gravity of your current state.  Get to the side of the road!  So, you manage to get to the side of the road, while not pretty, you are there, you are stopped and you are assessing the damage now and into the future.  You were heading somewhere after all, were you on a schedule?

Here we are, on the side of the road and things don't look all that great.  You don't currently have the skill set to change a Flat Tire.  Here is a choice point...

What are the choices?  You could:
Scream and shout and complain and wonder why you, why now
Be paralyzed in fear
Cry
Think of possible solutions
Try
Read your user manual for instructions
Call for help
Change it yourself
Wait for someone to stop and help you

Out of all these options, and I am certain there are more, what is the common theme??

YOU!  What are YOU going to do about it??

Would you agree that each of those choices require a different level of skills??  YES!  and would you agree that it also requires a certain skill just to set in motion those different skills??  YES!

So...What do YOU choose??

Here is the point.  No matter what you choose, imagine up the road in the distance beyond where you can currently see is someone else who is driving what you are driving, who has a flat tire, the exact same amount of flat tires you currently have. They have made it to the side of the road and are paralyzed, or screaming and shouting and wondering why???

There are 6,973,738,433 people in the entire world!!  When you think about where you are, is it possible that maybe, just maybe there is someone else who has experienced what you are experiencing and has acquired a new skill to deal with the same flat tire you are currently dealing with??  YES!  Then isn't it also TRUE that someone somewhere up the road in the distance is waiting for you to acquire your skill so you can get back on the road and come share that new skill with them so they too can get back on their road?? YES!

Someone, somewhere is waiting on you to get through this trial and come out on the other side with a new skill that will help them pick up and move on.  It is your DUTY, your RESPONSIBILITY to figure this out.  I'm not saying that pain will disappear or that you will forget or that you will all better, but what I am saying is you will be back on your road, traveling confidently in the direction your meant to go.

Get out of the car, choose life, choose to learn, look forward in life, there is someone, somewhere waiting for you.
                                           

Getting All Muscley

Emotions are like muscles.  In order to build muscle, you have to exercise and concentrate on a particular area...FOCUS. (sounding familiar)

Its just like if you go to the gym and you focus on biceps or triceps, abs or lats, hamstrings or quads.  All are specific and require a certain movement to concentrate and maximize your efforts in order to build that particular muscle.

Now apply that to your emotions.  What do you focus on in order to be HAPPY? PEACEFUL? RELAXED? MOTIVATED? DELIGHTED? ENTHUSIASTIC? or sad? angry? frustrated? anxious? tired? exhausted? not worthy? not good enough?  Isn't it true when you are HAPPY you are thinking happy things or recalling happy thoughts or finding joy around you VS. when you are sad, what you are thinking about? what you don't have, can't have or wish you had? or perhaps whats not right in your life, or the world or what someone has done to hurt you or hasn't done.

I want to challenge you to be aware of what you are FOCUSED on when you are "feeling" a certain way.

              

Next, exercise a different emotion that maybe you don't regularly experience.

Have fun!

Change Your State

I like music, it sometimes is a tool to shift my state, my Aleeya likes music too.  This morning we listened to a particular song that is near and dear to my heart and it took me straight to my SPECIAL PLACE with Japanese Cherry Blossom Trees on a cliff over-looking the ocean.  Of course we listened to this song 3 times on the way to school, afterwards on my way to Crossfit, I of course was crying and my heart was full and I felt so much gratitude, joy and happiness.

I am thinking today about how you have the choice to change your state of mind with tools that are all around us.  Last night, I was talking with a dear friend and this subject came up.  For the both of us, our husbands dissatisfaction for other people in vehicles used to bring about unwanted states of mind.  Crazy hu how two people can experience the same exact thing.  So here is the deal, my husband is a police officer and when he is not at work, his brain still is and I can tell you there is not one person on the road at the same time as he is that is doing the right thing...they are Breaking The LAW!!!  Hello!  Anyways, this usually results in lots of frustration, anger, yelling at other cars, explicit language...etc.  For me, when this happens, I am always on the side of the other person...how in the world can you know what is going on in someone else life to know why in the world they are making the choices they are making to somehow end up in the line of fire. Bringing this up always results in a disagreement.  Can you see the polarity?  You can probably imagine how this plays out...

Here is what I found, we all have tools, emotional tools, physical tools, auditory tools...lots and lots of tools! When these events come up...and they do every single day, I dive into my tool box to change MY state.  I say MY strongly, because it is not my job to change my husband, if that is what you are looking for, change the channel now.  I like music and I can think of a song, hum a song or simply imagine the lyrics, artist and  band playing their hearts out for my entertainment...my state is shifting already, can you tell.  Anywho, while he plays out what he needs to play out, I can take care of my state of mind by being aware and being prepared with tools.

What tools do you use to change your state?

Label - Schmabel

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” - Eckhart Tolle

Getting Started

So I did it!  I am new to the blogging world.  I was scared at first, but after talking to someone way smarter than me, I realized I was making it a lot harder that what it actually was.  Which brings me to my first topic...

We create our world!

What are you focused on?  We have over 60,000 thoughts in a day and 90% of them are repeated.  So honestly  what are you focused on, or what are you thinking about over and over??  I had already told myself this blogging thing was going to be way to hard and I had to have tons of things to say and I had to make it long and I had to capture a reader...blah, blah, blah...I had to...yada, yada, yada!  I was so focused on how hard it was going to be, I stopped myself from even moving forward...now that is a whole another subject in itself.

We create our world simply by what we choose to focus on.  I know this is a hard concept to realize, but think about it for just a second, if you focus on not being able to loose weight, guess what you do...eat? maybe is one thing.  What else, what if you focus on what you don't have or can't have, guess what you do...sink into a depressed state?  One more, what if you focus on winning, guess what you do...look for solutions or options or how you can do it best???

So for now, just for today, be aware of what you are thinking over and over again, that is what you are focusing on...just be aware.  Awareness is 80% of the battle, maybe tomorrow we can take it to a whole new level.  For now, I'm keeping it simple for me and anyone else who likes simple :)